Alex Forrest, Is that You?

Is it me, or does Sarah Jessica Parker look remarkably like Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction here?

Obama to Visit Alaska Next Week

According to reports coming from both radio and online sources, President Obama will be stopping by Anchorage on his way to Asia next week. He will stop at Elmendorf Air Force Base, which is very close to where I work. Even though I will be no more than 10 miles from where he will stand, I won’t be able to see him. I am disappointed, but I’ll get over it. I’m just glad he’s coming.

I Know What I Want for Christmas

Introducing SurvivaBall. In case you need to survive global climate meltdown or similar.

1. SHF Atenna with Supplementary LF Annennae
2. Receiver and Data Processor
3. Protective Headgear with Visor
4. Drinking Straw
5. External pores (defensive)
6. Defense Enhancement Unit (1 of 3; primary)
7. Food Reprocessor (receives nutrients from Nutrition Refunction Centre, 21)
8. Maniple Pods (for interaction with people, technology and the environment)
9. Nutrition Utility Transfer (conveys nutrients from Food Reprocessor, 6)
10. Electrical Grafting (secures against power loss)
11. Dynamo
12. Motors (powered by Dynamo, 11, and Maniple Pod, 8, plug interfaces)
13. Electromagnetic Strips (generate electricity for Dynamo, 11, and allow external linkage)
14. Maniple Pod Deployed as Rotor (applicable to all MPs)
15. Defense Enhancement Unit (2 of 3; non-lethal)
16. Power Converter
17. Defense Enhancement Unit (3 of 3; rear)
18. Power Conduits with Inline Power Converters and Dynamo)
19. Medical Analysis Unit (runs constant scans on health and energy)
20. Personal Trapment Unit (conveys cast-off to Nutrition Refunction Centre, 21)
21. Nutrition Refunction Centre (extracts nutrients from cast-off)
22. Persistent Nutrition Unit (delivers small amounts on an ongoing basis)
23. Suspension Grid (elasticated cable system)
24. Hyperfine Elasticity Units (impart added momentum)
25. Medical Stability and Emergency Unit
26. Communications and Infrastructure Monitoring Assemblage

Anyone want to converge to form a managerial aggregate with me?

Sweet Deal for Sarah Fans

Get it while the gittin’s good, my friends. Hurry on down to the Wal-Mart, where you can pick up yer very own copy of Goin’ Rogue: An American Lie. Be sure to bring yer wallet, though, ’cause they ain’t given ‘em away. They’s nine whole dollars.

Did you notice what “People Who Bought This Item Also Bought”?

Is It Just Me…

…cause I really don’t get this:

Don’t get me wrong, I lurrrve fashion. I wait all week to watch Project Runway. I understand that this is considered couture. But.

I mean, come on.

On top of being dressed in some of the ugliest clothes ever, this poor guy is disturbingly thin. Someone get him a sandwich, stat.

And then come the ladies:

WTF, right?

And a few more just for the hell of it:

After my extreme bout of vertigo lately, that last one kind of freaks me out.

What say you?

Read This and Weep (or Puke)

In January of this year, I did a CineMonday! review of a movie I had recently watched called Fast Food Nation.

As I read an article in the New York Times this morning called “E. Coli Path Shows Flaws in Ground Beef Inspection”, I was reminded of my review, which was fictional, yet based on reality. Well, here’s reality for you.

This is a story about a 22-year-old children’s dance instructor who is now paralyzed from the waist down because she ate a contaminated hamburger. Some excerpts:

The frozen hamburgers that the Smiths ate, which were made by the food giant Cargill, were labeled “American Chef’s Selection Angus Beef Patties.” Yet confidential grinding logs and other Cargill records show that the hamburgers were made from a mix of slaughterhouse trimmings and a mash-like product derived from scraps that were ground together at a plant in Wisconsin. The ingredients came from slaughterhouses in Nebraska, Texas and Uruguay, and from a South Dakota company that processes fatty trimmings and treats them with ammonia to kill bacteria.

[snip]

Unwritten agreements between some companies appear to stand in the way of ingredient testing. Many big slaughterhouses will sell only to grinders who agree not to test their shipments for E. coli, according to officials at two large grinding companies. Slaughterhouses fear that one grinder’s discovery of E. coli will set off a recall of ingredients they sold to others.

[snip]

As with other slaughterhouses, the potential for contamination is present every step of the way, according to workers and federal inspectors. The cattle often arrive with smears of feedlot feces that harbor the E. coli pathogen, and the hide must be removed carefully to keep it off the meat. This is especially critical for trimmings sliced from the outer surface of the carcass.

[snip]

Federal inspectors based at the plant are supposed to monitor the hide removal, but much can go wrong. Workers slicing away the hide can inadvertently spread feces to the meat, and large clamps that hold the hide during processing sometimes slip and smear the meat with feces, the workers and inspectors say.

[snip]

Cargill’s final source was a supplier that turns fatty trimmings into what it calls “fine lean textured beef.” The company, Beef Products Inc., said it bought meat that averages between 50 percent and 70 percent fat, including “any small pieces of fat derived from the normal breakdown of the beef carcass.” It warms the trimmings, removes the fat in a centrifuge and treats the remaining product with ammonia to kill E. coli.

With seven million pounds produced each week, the company’s product is widely used in hamburger meat sold by grocers and fast-food restaurants and served in the federal school lunch program.

[snip]

The food safety officer at American Foodservice, which grinds 365 million pounds of hamburger a year, said it stopped testing trimmings a decade ago because of resistance from slaughterhouses. “They would not sell to us,” said Timothy P. Biela, the officer. “If I test and it’s positive, I put them in a regulatory situation. One, I have to tell the government, and two, the government will trace it back to them. So we don’t do that.”

According to the article, the woman who was paralyzed by eating ground beef tainted with a powerful strain of E. coli was purchased at Sam’s Club. The article goes on to explain that Costco, on the other hand, tests all of the beef it sells.

Craig Wilson, Costco’s food safety director, said the company decided it could not rely on its suppliers alone. Costco said it had found E. coli in foreign and domestic beef trimmings and pressured suppliers to fix the problem. But even Costco, with its huge buying power, said it had met resistance from some big slaughterhouses. “Tyson will not supply us,” Mr. Wilson said. “They don’t want us to test.”

I am not shocked by what I read in this article, but I am saddened and disgusted. If ever there was a reason to stop eating ground beef, this is it. If not for the sake of the cows or the sake of the planet, then by all means, think about doing it for your own sake and the sake of your family. I know I will not be letting my daughter eat the hamburgers at school, and I will never buy ground beef from Sam’s Club. The risks are just too high.

h/t to Sara B. for linking to this on her Facebook page

Couldn’t Have Said it Better

From Margaret and Helen, one of the best posts I’ve seen in awhile:

Honestly, if I could , I would put the entire Republic party over my knee and give them a good spanking. What does it say about our country if the biggest debate of the decade is no longer about the two wars we are fighting but rather about preventing children and families from having access to affordable healthcare? I’ll tell you what it says to me. It says the Christian Right never really was and Value Voters aren’t very valuable.

[snip]

Michele Bachman thinks healthcare reform is unconstitutional. I think Michelle Bachmann is as nutty as a fruit cake. Or as we say down here in Texas – Michele is one taco short of a combo plate. She is a few fries short of a happy meal. Her elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor. Her cord is too short to reach the outlet. The wheel might be spinning but the hamster is dead.

That woman just isn’t right in the head. I mean it. Really.

I love these ladies. I wish they were my family.

Take That, Right-Wing Nut Jobs

When I first heard that Mark Begich would be holding a town hall meeting at Bartlett High School tonight, I figured I’d better stay as far away from that crazy as possible. Even though I want to support Senator Begich in the fight for health care, I knew that there would be a good turn-out of firearms from those either trying to make a point or those trying to intimidate.

A joint press release was just issued from the Anchorage Police Department and the Anchorage School District regarding the use of weapons in a school facility. The entire press release is reprinted below:

***Special Press Release***
Subject – Firearms on ASD School Grounds

Anchorage Police Department has received unconfirmed reports that some individuals have encouraged persons attending the Town Hall meeting scheduled for Sept. 25, 2009 at Bartlett High School to carry firearms in support of the Second Amendment right to bear arms. This is in violation of both Alaska Statutes and the United States Code whether or not school is in session. Neither Anchorage School District nor its Chief Administrative Officer (Superintendent) has granted permission for deadly or defensive weapons to be possessed on ASD grounds. Persons violating this law will be subject to immediate arrest. Please see the following statutes:

Alaska Statute 11.61.210. Misconduct involving weapons in the fourth degree.
(a) A person commits the crime of misconduct involving weapons in the fourth degree if the person
(7) other than a preschool, elementary, junior high, or secondary school student, knowingly possesses a deadly weapon or a defensive weapon, without the permission of the chief administrative officer of the school or district or the designee of the chief administrative officer, within the buildings of, on the grounds of, or on the school parking lot of a public or private preschool, elementary, junior high, or secondary school, on a school bus while being transported to or from school or a school-sponsored event, or while participating in a school-sponsored event, except that a person 21 years of age or older may possess
(A) a deadly weapon, other than a loaded firearm, in the trunk of a motor vehicle or encased in a closed container in a motor vehicle;
(B) a defensive weapon;
(d) Misconduct involving weapons in the fourth degree is a class A misdemeanor.

US Code Title 18 Part 1 chapter 44 § 930 (q) (2)
(A) It shall be unlawful for any individual knowingly to possess a firearm that has moved in or that otherwise affects interstate or foreign commerce at a place that the individual knows, or has reasonable cause to believe, is a school zone.
(B) Subparagraph (A) does not apply to the possession of a firearm—
(i) on private property not part of school grounds;
(ii) if the individual possessing the firearm is licensed to do so by the State in which the school zone is located or a political subdivision of the State, and the law of the State or political subdivision requires that, before an individual obtains such a license, the law enforcement authorities of the State or political subdivision verify that the individual is qualified under law to receive the license;
(iii) that is—
(I) not loaded; and
(II) in a locked container, or a locked firearms rack that is on a motor vehicle;
(iv) by an individual for use in a program approved by a school in the school zone;
(v) by an individual in accordance with a contract entered into between a school in the school zone and the individual or an employer of the individual;
(vi) by a law enforcement officer acting in his or her official capacity; or
(vii) that is unloaded and is possessed by an individual while traversing school premises for the purpose of gaining access to public or private lands open to hunting, if the entry on school premises is authorized by school authorities.

So take that, Mr. Joe Nut-Bag-Right-Wing-Freak-Show. Superintendent Comeau is comin’ ta getcha, so you best leave your gunz at home.

Kanye, the New National Joke

Poor Kanye. After what happened at the VMA’s, I actually almost feel sorry for the guy. Here’s my favorite Kanye-related parody:

Thanks to Huff Po, who can always be counted on to post stuff that makes me laugh.

Happy Monday, everyone!

My Dinner with the Palins

Here’s how it would go down:

Todd: Hey, nice to meetcha.

Me: You too. So, Sarah, why is it so impossible for you to tell the truth?

Sarah: Get her out of here.

And scene.