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Posts Tagged ‘Old as hell’

It’s Official

Okay, so it happened.  I finally realized that I am old.  As someone who is always ALWAYS mistaken for someone younger, this was like a kick in the crotch.  I was flying back from Nashville on Wednesday and was seated next to a young man who, at first glance, looked like a punk.  Over the next SIX HOURS, we talked a lot and I realized that I had misjudged him.  He was actually a very sweet kid, and he had never been in a plane before.  He was from Pennsylvania and was headed to Alaska to try to get a job on a crab fishing boat, like on The Deadliest Catch.  Since he was only 5’3ish and had never been on a boat, I was wondering just how realistic that notion was.

The following excerpt is from the conversation that made me realize that I’m knockin’ knock knockin’ on death’s door:

Kid: So, how old are you?

Me: <Sigh.> 34.

Kid: NO WAY.  That can’t be right. I thought you were, like, 23 or something.

Internal Me: Bless you.

External Me: Yep, I’m 34.

Kid: How old do you think I am?

Me: 20?

Kid: 18.

Me: <prolonged silence>

Internal Me: Oh. My. God. I. Could. Be. His. Mother.

Depressed Me: I could be your mother.

Stupid Kid: Yeah, my mom’s 36.

Suicidal Me: <silence>

Not cool.

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