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Posts Tagged ‘Bad idea’

I know, I know, I’ve been gone a long time. Remind me never to schedule two huge work projects during the same week. Bad idea. A very bad idea.

Due to said bad idea, at about 11:30 am on Friday, I had my very first panic attack. For those of you who suffer from panic attacks, let me just say, I understand now. The feeling is indescribable. It’s sort of a my-stomach-feels-sick-I’m-dizzy-my-whole-body-feels-tight-it’s-hard-to-breathe-hard-to-think-I’m-going-to-cry feeling. Not fun. I was able to calm myself down by repeating the following:

“No matter what, this is just work. What you should be worrying about is S. She’s feeling sick today and nothing else matters except her.” I felt almost instantly better after I put things into perspective.

And then I saw this:

Rockin' Lounge Pants

Rockin' Lounge Pants

That’s right. They’re lounge pants that LOOK LIKE RIPPED JEANS. Freakin’ genius. Slap a mullet on that guy, and you’ve got yourself a party. I found these in the ABC Distributing catalog that showed up in my mail Friday. It’s the first, I hope, of a long line of these catalogs. Almost every page brought me joy. Like this:

Creepy Native American dolls

Creepy Native American dolls

It’s hard to see these, but trust me, they’re creepy. From the tops of their poorly-cut hairdos to the tips of their moccasins. I especially like how their eyes are closed and they’re sucking on their thumbs.

Lastly, there’s this:

Snuggle Wrap Deluxe

Snuggle Wrap Deluxe

I mean, not for nothin’, but how do you walk in those things? I can totally see myself doing the Snuggle Wrap Shuffle around my house, trying to get back and forth from the kitchen to the living room, spilling my mug of hot cocoa down the front and ruining the whole effect.

If you’re interesting in checking out the fun, go to www.abcdistributing.com. It’s a joy ride. Let me know if you find anything funnier than the lounge pants.

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