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I know, I know. I’ve been gone a long time. Here’s what I’ve been up to the past…what? Nearly four weeks??:

My best friend’s dog died after having him shipped in from the bush to go to the emergency veterinarian’s.

Busily Christmas shopping, online and in stores.

Practicing patience one day at a time while my 2-year-old figures out how far she can push me.

Reading The Hour I First Believed and Couch.

Impatiently waiting for my Nook to arrive. It was supposed to ship out on Monday but still no word from B & N.

Buying our first “real” Christmas tree. That means that it is more than 2 feet tall. (It is fake but gorgeous!)

Following Palin’s Excellent Adventure across the country (or should I call it The Trail of Tears?).

Cooking for 8 hours (in 2 4-hour shifts) for Thanksgiving. Man, my back hurt after that one.

Helping with the 2nd H1N1 clinic at my school. The preschoolers remembered what happened last time and THEY DID NOT LIKE IT.

Here are a few things that I haven’t been doing:
1. Exercising
2. Sending Christmas cards
3. Cleaning
4. Sleeping in (when, oh when will she sleep past 7 am?)
5. Blogging (I guess you figured that one out by now)

So, now you’re all caught up. Now I need to get my act together and finish preparing for Christmas. Happy Holidays everyone!

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Oh, crap.

ANCHORAGE, Alaska — A California publicist and two co-authors have terminated a book deal with a former aide of former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin.

San Diego-based Releve Marketing and PR announced Tuesday it will no longer represent or co-author Frank Bailey’s upcoming book “Renegade: Sarah Palin’s Hatchet Man.”

Christiana Grace, company co-owner and one of the co-authors, says she can’t elaborate on the reasons for the termination. But she adds it was not a falling out with Bailey, her close friend since college.

Any conspiracy theorists out there want to take a guess at why this particular book was dropped? Not because of Bailey, so…

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According to reports coming from both radio and online sources, President Obama will be stopping by Anchorage on his way to Asia next week. He will stop at Elmendorf Air Force Base, which is very close to where I work. Even though I will be no more than 10 miles from where he will stand, I won’t be able to see him. I am disappointed, but I’ll get over it. I’m just glad he’s coming.

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I Know What I Want for Christmas

Introducing SurvivaBall. In case you need to survive global climate meltdown or similar.

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1. SHF Atenna with Supplementary LF Annennae
2. Receiver and Data Processor
3. Protective Headgear with Visor
4. Drinking Straw
5. External pores (defensive)
6. Defense Enhancement Unit (1 of 3; primary)
7. Food Reprocessor (receives nutrients from Nutrition Refunction Centre, 21)
8. Maniple Pods (for interaction with people, technology and the environment)
9. Nutrition Utility Transfer (conveys nutrients from Food Reprocessor, 6)
10. Electrical Grafting (secures against power loss)
11. Dynamo
12. Motors (powered by Dynamo, 11, and Maniple Pod, 8, plug interfaces)
13. Electromagnetic Strips (generate electricity for Dynamo, 11, and allow external linkage)
14. Maniple Pod Deployed as Rotor (applicable to all MPs)
15. Defense Enhancement Unit (2 of 3; non-lethal)
16. Power Converter
17. Defense Enhancement Unit (3 of 3; rear)
18. Power Conduits with Inline Power Converters and Dynamo)
19. Medical Analysis Unit (runs constant scans on health and energy)
20. Personal Trapment Unit (conveys cast-off to Nutrition Refunction Centre, 21)
21. Nutrition Refunction Centre (extracts nutrients from cast-off)
22. Persistent Nutrition Unit (delivers small amounts on an ongoing basis)
23. Suspension Grid (elasticated cable system)
24. Hyperfine Elasticity Units (impart added momentum)
25. Medical Stability and Emergency Unit
26. Communications and Infrastructure Monitoring Assemblage

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Anyone want to converge to form a managerial aggregate with me?

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Sweet Deal for Sarah Fans

Get it while the gittin’s good, my friends. Hurry on down to the Wal-Mart, where you can pick up yer very own copy of Goin’ Rogue: An American Lie. Be sure to bring yer wallet, though, ’cause they ain’t given ’em away. They’s nine whole dollars.

Wal-Mart

Did you notice what “People Who Bought This Item Also Bought”?

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From Margaret and Helen, one of the best posts I’ve seen in awhile:

Honestly, if I could , I would put the entire Republic party over my knee and give them a good spanking. What does it say about our country if the biggest debate of the decade is no longer about the two wars we are fighting but rather about preventing children and families from having access to affordable healthcare? I’ll tell you what it says to me. It says the Christian Right never really was and Value Voters aren’t very valuable.

[snip]

Michele Bachman thinks healthcare reform is unconstitutional. I think Michelle Bachmann is as nutty as a fruit cake. Or as we say down here in Texas – Michele is one taco short of a combo plate. She is a few fries short of a happy meal. Her elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor. Her cord is too short to reach the outlet. The wheel might be spinning but the hamster is dead.

That woman just isn’t right in the head. I mean it. Really.

I love these ladies. I wish they were my family.

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When I first heard that Mark Begich would be holding a town hall meeting at Bartlett High School tonight, I figured I’d better stay as far away from that crazy as possible. Even though I want to support Senator Begich in the fight for health care, I knew that there would be a good turn-out of firearms from those either trying to make a point or those trying to intimidate.

A joint press release was just issued from the Anchorage Police Department and the Anchorage School District regarding the use of weapons in a school facility. The entire press release is reprinted below:

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***Special Press Release***
Subject – Firearms on ASD School Grounds

Anchorage Police Department has received unconfirmed reports that some individuals have encouraged persons attending the Town Hall meeting scheduled for Sept. 25, 2009 at Bartlett High School to carry firearms in support of the Second Amendment right to bear arms. This is in violation of both Alaska Statutes and the United States Code whether or not school is in session. Neither Anchorage School District nor its Chief Administrative Officer (Superintendent) has granted permission for deadly or defensive weapons to be possessed on ASD grounds. Persons violating this law will be subject to immediate arrest. Please see the following statutes:

Alaska Statute 11.61.210. Misconduct involving weapons in the fourth degree.
(a) A person commits the crime of misconduct involving weapons in the fourth degree if the person
(7) other than a preschool, elementary, junior high, or secondary school student, knowingly possesses a deadly weapon or a defensive weapon, without the permission of the chief administrative officer of the school or district or the designee of the chief administrative officer, within the buildings of, on the grounds of, or on the school parking lot of a public or private preschool, elementary, junior high, or secondary school, on a school bus while being transported to or from school or a school-sponsored event, or while participating in a school-sponsored event, except that a person 21 years of age or older may possess
(A) a deadly weapon, other than a loaded firearm, in the trunk of a motor vehicle or encased in a closed container in a motor vehicle;
(B) a defensive weapon;
(d) Misconduct involving weapons in the fourth degree is a class A misdemeanor.

US Code Title 18 Part 1 chapter 44 § 930 (q) (2)
(A) It shall be unlawful for any individual knowingly to possess a firearm that has moved in or that otherwise affects interstate or foreign commerce at a place that the individual knows, or has reasonable cause to believe, is a school zone.
(B) Subparagraph (A) does not apply to the possession of a firearm—
(i) on private property not part of school grounds;
(ii) if the individual possessing the firearm is licensed to do so by the State in which the school zone is located or a political subdivision of the State, and the law of the State or political subdivision requires that, before an individual obtains such a license, the law enforcement authorities of the State or political subdivision verify that the individual is qualified under law to receive the license;
(iii) that is—
(I) not loaded; and
(II) in a locked container, or a locked firearms rack that is on a motor vehicle;
(iv) by an individual for use in a program approved by a school in the school zone;
(v) by an individual in accordance with a contract entered into between a school in the school zone and the individual or an employer of the individual;
(vi) by a law enforcement officer acting in his or her official capacity; or
(vii) that is unloaded and is possessed by an individual while traversing school premises for the purpose of gaining access to public or private lands open to hunting, if the entry on school premises is authorized by school authorities.

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So take that, Mr. Joe Nut-Bag-Right-Wing-Freak-Show. Superintendent Comeau is comin’ ta getcha, so you best leave your gunz at home.

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