Sarah, how old r u? rn’t u like 45 yrs old? Y r u spending all yr X on twittr? Can’t u rite a cmplte sntnce? O, yeah, that’s rite, u can’t.
Look, Sarah, u r not 12 yrs old. It’s time 2 grow up and act yr age. This is gting rly embarsing for us. We can’t stnd 2 c u like this. Yr tweets r like nails on a chlkbrd.
Like Lisa Kogan said in the November 2008 Oprah magazine, “Junior high is just one long daisy chain of nonstop mean, and you have officially survived it. That’s right, my friend, you may have to face locusts, drought, and World War III, but you can now go forth secure in the understanding that seventh grade is over. You get to wake up each and every morning without worrying that Arleen Posner got the same Frye boots as you. You will never have to read Beowulf, be groped by a 13-year-old reeking of his father’s Aqua Velva, or feather your bangs again. The enormity of this revelation must not be underestimated.”
That’s right, Sarah, you’re not in seventh grade anymore. Grow up.
My sentiments exactly!! No wonder she is such a fan of twittering, she doesn’t have to write in complete, coherent sentences. And let’s not even mention punctuation. If you haven’t seen it yet, check out the revision of her resignation speech on Vanity Fare. Wayne Lawson must have had a real headache when he finished that little task!
7th grade may be long past but way too many 40 something women seem to return to the mean behavior. I’m regularly blown away by the ‘flatter me or I’ll hate you, and so will my friends’ I see at work. Sarah’s just another aging middle schooler.
Great post! Sums her up quite well! Blackberrys and twitters! TOYS!!!!! Shiny!